One thing I am able to do is express myself in writing. It’s something I wish I would be able to make a living from (maybe someday) but until then it’s the blog-sphere to the rescue. And in fact, my husband is very aware of this fact in the hundreds and hundreds of emails I will write to him, daily or even hourly.
He is a sailor and when he is deployed with his submarine, the only way he hears from me and visa versa is by email. This email system is a blessing and a curse as I am sure readers will discover over the course of time. In any case, I can write emails as long as I want to him with details about whatever is on my mind – be it children (maybe someday), finances (or lack there of) or the weather. The light of his day when he is underway (or so he tells me) is an email from home. And it’s greatest when he gets a novel from me.
Now this is not always possible, as sometimes there is nothing. So, thats when the weather discussion comes into play. But most often, it’s that I dont hear from him. It’s not for lack of trying on his part at all – I know that after almost five years together, we have established that communication is a big part of why we work so well. I communicate and he listens, and responds – it’s a great system we have.
But when I do not have responses for 3 days….a week, a month, it’s hard to say anything to him as a follow up or comment. One such instance I can remember in college: I was living with “friends” and this “friend” had a twin sister traveling abroad that same semester I moved in. After the semester was over, it was said to me in not so many words that I needed to move out to make room for said sister…..
WHAT? Imagine scrambling right before the end of the semester, when all college students went home for the summer and I was stuck trying to find another place to live! I was in a panic and my boyfriend at the time was underway – which is shorter than a deployment on a submarine – maybe 1 week to 1 month. My first thought was okay, lets do the impossible (as I was raised “you dont live with a boy until you are married”) and find a place with him….we had been discussing finding a place for the summer, and then I would be back at school and maybe live on campus?
Only thing was that in order to get an email to him, I would draft it – and then it goes through a million (or so it seems) different avenues and is even modified (??weird when I got my first “postmaster” letting me know – for those who are absolutely confused see THIS). Once he gets it, he sends a response back…then 15 other guys on the boat send an email to their significant others. All of a sudden, the email intended for me is on the bottom of a “pile” of emails – last to be sent out. Then, when they do send emails, they can only send some – say 10 emails – at a time. So my email is sitting at the bottom, waiting to get to me …. and it’s sitting in the pile as three more days go by, 25 emails are written tha go on top….well, you get the point.
I did eventually get a response to my email, saying how much he would love to live with me a get a place for the summer, and see what happened from there….only, I had tracked down one of the other people I knew who was staying in town and signed an agreement to rent the apartment down the street from my one at the time.
The hazards of this email system is daunting, but the benefits are greatly more. One email, even just to say – I got your emails, and I love you. – makes my day. Going three weeks (as long as I have gone without a call, email, etc…) it hard and it hurts sometimes. But all in all, it’s all worth it when his hard work and dedication to his service is rewarded. He was just one of 6,500 sailors in the entire Navy to advance to the next rate of E5. His particular job as a CS is harder than ever to make rank in, taking most CS’s 3 or 4 times to pass, yet he did it in two tries.
I am so proud of him for all he is doing and cannot wait to have him home. The lack of communication from him is worth it in the end and it is my true release. Look for more too come!